


Insider Outsider

by foxysquid



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alien/Human Relationships, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Back to Earth, Homecoming, Husbands, Kissing, Love, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychology, Research, Road Trips, Romance, Science Fiction, Space Husbands, Sparring, Understanding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-19
Updated: 2018-03-19
Packaged: 2019-04-04 12:46:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14020548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/foxysquid/pseuds/foxysquid
Summary: Adjusting to an entirely new world is a challenge, even for someone as experienced and adaptable as Ulaz, but Ulaz isn't the only one who finds Earth a strange and unfamiliar place.Earth is Shiro's home, but that doesn't mean Shiro feels at home there. Yet if he's having difficulty adjusting, Ulaz sees it as his responsibility to assist. He may be the outsider on this planet—but where Shiro is concerned, he has insider knowledge.





	Insider Outsider

Earth hadn't been untouched by the war, even if it had fared better than so many other planets. The humans had survived with their homeworld intact, but the war had left them wary. Ulaz could understand wariness. He had lived a lifetime of wariness. Only recently had he had occasion to lower his guard, and he managed that at intervals, and with care. He hadn't learned to unbend far enough to engage in what the humans would call relaxation. He had been raised to believe that a measure of caution had to be maintained at all times. The idea of being carefree was as alien to him as he was to the humans. 

"Ah—Mister—Ulaz?"

The new researcher was still nervous in his presence. Those who had been here since his arrival were well into the process of acclimating to his otherness, but this one hadn't had time to become acquainted with him. She had been transferred to this base a few days ago, one of a number of Earth scientists who were eager for the chance to study a cooperative Galra. Ulaz inclined his head toward her respectfully. "My people don't have the custom of family names," he said. "You can address me by my given name."

"Is there a title I should use?" she asked. This was her first time speaking with him alone. The scientists hadn't yet finalized a protocol for their dealings with Galra. There was so much they didn't know about Ulaz's people. "I currently have no rank," he said, "but you may address me as Blade." Since she seemed to desire additional formality, he was willing to offer it. Using given names wasn't always enough for humans, depending on the context.

"Blade Ulaz," she said, experimentally.

Ulaz inclined his head again.

She took a seat. He followed suit, lowering himself into a chair that faced hers. This room was a kind of lounge, with groupings of tables and chairs arranged haphazardly throughout. On one of the tables, a plant in a pot overlooked the room lopsidedly. In the next room, there was equipment for food preparation, but it was mostly used to make the bitter plant-based drinks the humans were so fond of. Ulaz had tried both "coffee" and "tea", and he wasn't yet certain whether he liked either of them.

"We've already been introduced, but you can call me Doctor Attia. I'm a psychologist specializing in xenopsychology." 

"A relatively new human discipline," Ulaz said.

"That's correct." She smiled, but the smile was strained. It was natural for humans to be uneasy around Galra. Not only had they been made very aware of the empire and its history, but this was their first encounter with interplanetary civilizations. Ulaz kept his movements slow and slight when interacting with them, especially when new ones arrived. He was larger and stronger than most of them, and they showed themselves keenly aware of that fact. The doctor was small, and she didn't have the bearing of a warrior. He did what he could to put her—and the rest of them—at ease, but he understood that Galra behavior did not always contribute to the human sense of security. He considered himself a calm and measured member of his species, but he couldn't alter his nature fundamentally, and he didn't wish to do so.

"I want to confirm that you're willing to speak with me and answer a few questions."

"I am," said Ulaz. Psychology, although he understood the concept, hadn't been considered a serious discipline by the empire. He was curious about her process, as he was curious about all these humans and their interest in him.

"I want you to feel that you can speak freely with me. Can you tell me your thoughts about being quarantined here?"

"It's an understandable process. I'm willing to wait as long as is necessary. Your caution is justified. I look forward to being released, but I'm not impatient." She had told him, when describing her work earlier, that he should express his emotions, so he made sure to mention them, although he wasn't ordinarily inclined to do so.

"Have you felt any discomfort or distress?"

"No," said Ulaz simply. He was trained in patience. He had spent long months, even years, on assignment, surrounded by his enemies and beset by the odd pairing of tedium and danger. This wait lacked both the tension of subterfuge and the dread of discovery.

"How do you regard the humans who work here?"

"I've had only agreeable interactions with humans so far. My overall impression is favorable."

"I'm glad to hear that." She smiled again. "I hope I'll continue the trend. I've been looking forward to working with you." She had no devices with which to take notes or record his words. She was sitting and listening to his answers, and nothing more. It felt more like they were engaging a casual conversation than an interrogation, although he remained aware that there was an interrogatory aspect to their interaction, however slight.

It was possible that, as a member of an alien species who was surrounded by humans on their guard, Ulaz could be in some danger if they or their superiors decided to give in to fear and mistrust. He relied on the fact that he had been vouched for. The matter of his safety didn't trouble him too much, despite the caution that was ingrained in him. He was much safer here than he would have been if he had been captured by the empire, and he had dealt with the threat of discovery by the empire many times in the past. He wasn't willing to go so far as to trust the humans, but he was willing to let them prove themselves, as he was proving himself to them. Like him, they had been vouched for.

The doctor's questions were simple and direct. She didn't ask him about troubling events of the recent past. There were no questions about the war and the people he had lost. She focused on the present and the time he'd spent in this base. This was a preliminary interview. She had made it clear that she might probe into more unpleasant matters in the future. He would answer her questions, if so, even if doing so was much more human than it was Galra.

Earlier in the day, he had been questioned by an expert on infectious diseases. That doctor had been befuddled by his account of Galra medicine. She had asked him the same questions several times, with slight variations in wording. She couldn't manage to fully believe that the Galra had almost wiped out disease in the traditional sense. It wasn't as if his people never fell victim to a passing virus, or became infected by unknown pathogens on a new world, but they could combat them with increasingly effective tools. They had enslaved generations of scientists throughout the universe to help them create these tools. The Galra Empire had always prided itself on being superior to other organisms, microorganisms included. 

Doctor Attia was much more interested in his emotions than in microorganisms. "Can you tell me about your association with Commander Shirogane?"

The humans and their family names—he hadn't heard any of the paladins call Shiro by his full name and family name. Ulaz hesitated—not for his own sake, but for Shiro's. The researchers' interest in their contact was expected, but Ulaz didn't want to cause any friction between Shiro and his superiors, due to misunderstandings. "We became acquainted when he was being held captive by the empire. I helped him to escape."

"As long as it's not a matter of global security, your answers are confidential," the doctor assured him, as if sensing his reticence.

She had mentioned that his answers wouldn't be shared unless pressing concerns meant that she was obligated to report them, but it wasn't easy for him to believe that promise entirely. He had grown used to stealth and deception after participating in them both so frequently. Yet it wasn't as if his connection to Shiro was a secret. Shiro hadn't told him not to discuss it. "Our association has always been mutually beneficial," he added. "It's satisfactory."

"And how do you feel about it?"

_Mutually beneficial_ and _satisfactory_ must not have been strong enough words for the human. "Naturally, I feel positively."

"Why is that natural?" She prompted him neutrally. 

"Because he is my mate."

The doctor nodded, slowly. It was likely she had already known. She didn't look uncomfortable, but continued calmly, "What exactly does that mean, to you?"

"We've formed a pair bond."

"Is that the same as what we could call marriage?"

"No. Marriage is a ceremony. We have that as well. Pair bonding is a physiological response."

"Can you explain that further?"

It was slightly difficult to explain a phenomenon that all Galra grew up understanding. It was instinctive, yes, but it was also spoken of and experienced so commonly that no one needed to explain it in such basic terms. "Affinity can cause a permanent change in Galra brain chemistry. I understand humans can experience similar chemical shifts, but I don't believe they have the same effects."

"Is it common for Galra to form these bonds with other species?"

"It's not—unheard of." Ulaz didn't mention the emperor, although the emperor did come to mind. Yet there were many examples of Galra forming such attachments, which was one of the reasons hybrids were not uncommon. "Galra are ultimately a social and adaptable species, in spite of our historical hostility."

"Do you think that such a relationship is sustainable?"

"It can be."

"And in your case?" 

"Yes, in my case," said Ulaz. The humans were obviously concerned about their relationship, probably more for Shiro's well-being than for Ulaz's sake. The infectious disease expert had asked some pointed questions which had suggested the doctors were attempting to determine whether he had infected Shiro with something. He suspected a human might have felt awkward, being asked about sexually transmitted illnesses, but Ulaz had replied without embarrassment. Their worries were unfounded, but again, it was a matter of instinct. They would protect one of their own, as they should. Shiro was important to them. Ulaz was the outsider. He had always been, except when he was with his fellow Blades.

Doctor Attia waited, but he had already answered her question. "In my case, it is sustainable," he clarified. Humans were different from Galra. That was a fact so obvious, it wasn't worth stating to the psychologist, but the number and names of those differences hadn't yet been determined by either species. While for Ulaz, a pair bond represented a permanent change in his body's chemistry, humans were more pliant, he'd been told. Their bonds might alter—or might not. "But your commander is free to choose. I wouldn't impose myself on him."

"Do you think he might see you as an imposition?"

An imposition? Ulaz's pause was brief as he processed this question, but it must have been evident. "He's returned to his own planet. I expect he'll want to spend time with his own people."

"You'll be understanding, then, if he wants to spend time away from you."

"Yes. I can wait." There it was again. The wait: to be accepted, to be permitted. As tolerant as Ulaz was of the doctor's questions, this tolerance only stretched so far. He hadn't reached his limit, but he was aware that it existed. Maybe he did have doubts, but he didn't intend to share any of those with the doctor. It would have been inappropriate for him to share them with a stranger before sharing them with his partner. Let them know that he was neither diseased nor deranged, and that would be enough. He posed no threat to any of them, being what they would consider a "good Galra", and he was willing to spend the time to prove it.

Not that he wasn't capable of restlessness. The doctor showed him mercy and kept their interview brief, asking him a few more questions about simpler aspects of his stay: the facilities, the clothing, the food. He had no complaints to offer, although he found these things to be—like everything else here—alien. Nonetheless, he was growing accustomed to them. 

He had begun to read human cues well enough to understand when they were wrapping up a conversation. Once they did so, he knew the correct polite phrases to utter. Once this was done, he was accustomed to bidding his researchers a polite farewell and passing from the interview lounge into the familiar hallway.

The staff had made an extra effort to locate human clothes in his size, or else alter them so that they would fit his frame. Ulaz preferred to wear them rather than his own clothes, to help him acclimate to their culture. There was no question of him wearing human footwear, and he insisted on keeping his blade with him, but otherwise, he tried to live in a way that was as human as possible, in preparation for the possibility that he would live among them—if and when they permitted it. The clothes were soft and felt loose around him as he moved.

Ulaz's movements throughout the base were relatively unfettered by the personnel too, even if he was not permitted to leave the premises. One benefit of his status as the only Galra present was that he was never asked for his identification, although he had been given one: a small, hard card with his picture printed on it. Everyone knew who he was. No one impeded his progress down the hallway.

It was his thoughts that were impeded, as the discussion with the psychologist lingered in his mind. What if he were an imposition—or became one? Were these the kinds of questions psychology was meant to raise? Ulaz's relationship with Shiro might create a rift between Shiro and others of his kind. Such a connection between a human and a Galra might not have been unprecedented, but it was unheard of, as far as the general populace was concerned. Ulaz knew that Shiro was unlikely to be swayed by public opinion, but there were other issues. Ulaz's presence could serve as a reminder of so many events that Shiro might want to forget: not only his long imprisonment and the endless gladiator battles, but other horrors, as well. If a problem arose, it would be incumbent upon Ulaz to do what was best for Shiro. What if a time were to come when leaving him would be best for him?

Ulaz had a complete map of the base in his mind and knew where he was at all times. As he had reached his destination, he halted and placed his hand on one of the door panels. The machinery hesitated before responding, as usual. The technology took additional time to process his handprint. Nothing here had been designed for Galra, which was all the more evident when the door finally slid open, and he had to stoop to pass through it comfortably.

"There you are," said Shiro. "I thought they were going to keep you from me all day."

Standing in the same room with him, taking in the sight of him, Ulaz felt some of his doubts dissolve immediately, if not all of them. "I had two appointments this morning with two of the new researchers."

"I never knew scientists could be so selfish."

"I myself was aware of the fact."

"I suppose I would have known, if I'd really thought about it."

Shiro was seated at a table by the window. Rooms with windows were in the minority here, but where Shiro was concerned, no amenity was spared. The base personnel treated him with a care not unlike reverence. Unlike Ulaz, Shiro wasn't subjected to early morning interviews, though Ulaz didn't mind waking early, and he approved of the respect they accorded Shiro. That was how their greatest warrior should be treated.

The view out the window was of a clear sky, the sun lighting the red earth and stone that stretched to the horizon, where they rose and darkened into mountains. The terrain between the base and the mountains was striped with green and brown scrub and scored with the blue, winding shadows of valleys and other depressions. It was a landscape not unlike the descriptions of ancient Daibazaal, and it didn't feel as unfamiliar as it could have.

The staff had brought Shiro breakfast, as usual. Shiro had finished his food, but he was still drinking—coffee, Ulaz could tell by they scent of it. "I hope they didn't give you too much trouble."

"I like to believe they've finally ascertained that I've neither infected you nor traumatized you."

This remark caused Shiro's eyebrows to rise. "Oh, no. Do I want to know what they've been putting you through?"

"I'll elaborate, if you like."

"In a little while. I'd like to enjoy your company before I have to deal with them again."

"I told you, their caution is only to be expected."

"After everything you've done for them—and me—I'd say a little less caution is called for." Shiro quickly added, "I already know you won't agree with that statement, but it's been months now. Are we supposed to wait a year?" Shiro wasn't easily frustrated, but over the past week or two, his expressions of irritation had grown more frequent.

"You don't have to wait here with me," said Ulaz.

"Of course I'm going to wait for you." Shiro rose to his feet. Ulaz, who had remained standing, found it easy to step toward him and slide his arms around him. He could feel the tension in Shiro's body. His arms and shoulders were unusually stiff. "I'm not leaving you alone here."

"But I understand that you need to see your friends and family. Your home."

"I'm already home." Shiro turned to face the window without leaving Ulaz's embrace. It was Ulaz who loosened his hold slightly, enough to allow himself to lean down and lick the nape of Shiro's neck, just below his hairline.

Shiro said nothing, letting a long silence stretch before asking, "You like that, don't you?"

"Yes." The taste of salt on Shiro's skin was almost intoxicating. "Humans taste good."

"All humans, or me in particular?"

"I imagine all of them might, but you in particular."

"Please don't tell them that. The last thing we need is for them to start worrying you're going to eat me."

Ulaz made a noise of assent to indicate that he wasn't going to tell them anything of the kind. As he did so, he gently bit the back of Shiro's neck, right on the spot where he had been licking him. Shiro shuddered. Human skin was more delicate than Galra skin, but Ulaz knew just how hard to press with his teeth to stop just shy of breaking skin. Not that he'd never broken Shiro's skin, but this wasn't an appropriate time for that.

"I'm going to say something to them," said Shiro.

"Sit down and finish your beverage," said Ulaz, speaking softly into his ear.

Shiro laughed. "You mean I shouldn't make any decisions before I've had my coffee?"

"Yes, that."

"A very human sentiment."

"Then I'm getting better at being human."

"You didn't ever need any improvement, Ulaz ... but I'll try things your way." Ulaz could feel Shiro's muscles starting to relax, but the tension hadn't left them altogether. Ulaz released him. Shiro didn't take a seat, but he did take up his drink again. He began to raise it to his lips, then offered it to Ulaz instead. "Are you sure you don't want another taste?

Ulaz took his time considering, and Shiro laughed again. "I don't think you've finished deciding if you like it for not."

Ulaz took the cup carefully in one hand. He gave the dark beverage a sniff, then took a sip. It wasn't his first sip of coffee, but it was still an experimental one. Any good experiment had to be repeated, to be sure of the results. He did like the faint bitterness and the acidity, but he hadn't made up his mind about the overall taste.

"It's not very good coffee," Shiro said, with a note of apology in his voice.

"Then I'll have to try a better one before I make up my mind."

"Actually, now that I think of it, I'm not sure if I should give Galra caffeine."

"If your human system can handle it, then—" Ulaz shrugged to indicate that it would present no problems for him.

"Oh, is that how it is?" Shiro shook his head.

"It is." After another sniff, he returned the cup of coffee to Shiro. "You taste better," he said. He lowered his head to give Shiro's neck another lick.

"You're going to make me spill this."

"Then be careful," Ulaz advised, drawing himself up to his full height. He gazed down at Shiro appreciatively. The difference in their sizes never struck him as odd. The range of normal body types was more marked among Ulaz's species than among Shiro's. Size disparity between partners wasn't uncommon among the Galra. Ulaz reached out to run his hand over Shiro's head, ruffling his short-cropped hair as well as the longer piece at the front.

"I think you want to make me spill this."

"I would never devise such a plan." Ulaz removed his hand from Shiro's head. "But I do have an idea."

"I'm open to ideas," said Shiro between sips, as he set about taking Ulaz's suggestion and finishing his drink.

"If you don't wish to leave me behind here, you can leave for a short while—and then come back."

"Ulaz—"

"A week or two away wouldn't mean you were leaving me." Ulaz had mastered human increments of time, and he used them easily. "You could see your friends and family and then return to me. I'll be waiting for you."

"My friends can come visit me here—those who have clearance. Even my family can. I'm able to authorize a visit. So there's no need."

Shiro's assertion that his friends could visit him didn't need to be proved. The other paladins had done so already. While they had been present, Ulaz had been certain to maintain an ample amount of distance from them, limiting the time he spent with Shiro. He hadn't wanted to intrude on their reunion. Yet he recalled that they had, on more than one occasion, expressed their eagerness for Shiro to visit various places on Earth with them—to meet their families or attend events. Shiro had demurred, naming Ulaz as his reason for staying within the confines of the base. Ulaz had never told him to stay.

Ulaz had, instead, asked him to go. He had had too much tact to mention it in front of the other paladins, but he had made his wishes clear. Shiro had told him that he wouldn't leave him, just as he'd said today. The paladins had given no sign of resenting Ulaz's presence or his effect on Shiro's movements, yet Ulaz had thought it was odd that Shiro so steadfastly insisted on staying, when he was so close to his friends, and they sought his companionship so eagerly.

Shiro took another sip of his coffee and stared out the window, his gaze unfocused. He would do that for long stretches, if left to his own devices. Ulaz didn't believe that Shiro was in any danger of becoming too dependent on him, but he suspected that something was wrong. "It won't be much longer," said Shiro, his voice distant. "I'll talk to them again."

"Talk to who?"

"The authorities," said Shiro vaguely.

"I told you, I have no complaints. I thought maybe you meant your friends."

"Oh. Right. I understand why you're bringing it up, Ulaz, but I can see them anytime. I only have to call them. Actually, I'm going to talk to my parents this evening. I've been in contact with everyone."

Ulaz hadn't been referring to video transmissions, but he didn't insist. His own communications with the Blade of Marmora had been much more sporadic, but the distance between him and most of his comrades was so much greater.

"I'm more concerned with the way you're being treated," said Shiro. Ulaz wasn't sure what Shiro had already said to those in command of the base—and those who had ultimate authority over his status as an alien. He was sure Shiro had spoken to his superiors, but he didn't know what progress he had made or how demanding he had been.

"I'll use the time to learn more about Earth," said Ulaz mildly. He put his hand on Shiro's shoulder. Shiro, shifting his cup to his prosthetic hand, placed the real one on Ulaz's fingers. "I like your hands," he said.

"I like yours as well." Ulaz liked both hands—the one of flesh and blood that was settled softly on his own, and the prosthetic that Shiro's friends had made for him, to replace the other. There seemed to be little his friends wouldn't do for him.

Keith, for instance, was plain and unapologetic in his devotion. He was the one Ulaz had spoken to privately when the paladins were visiting. As a fellow Blade, he had a stronger connection to Keith than to any other paladin, save Shiro. "Do you think you can convince Shiro to go?" he'd asked him, once the two of them were alone. He didn't have any specific destination in mind for Shiro at the time, but he was convinced that Shiro should take some time to accompany his friends.

Keith had answered without hesitation: "No." It was a blunt and simple reply, but Keith shortly added a few words of clarification. "I don't know if he wants to go. I won't push him."

"I would have thought he would look forward to seeing his homeland again."

Keith nodded, slowly, but said, "Maybe he isn't ready."

Ulaz hadn't asked Keith whether Keith thought Ulaz's presence played a part in in Shiro's reluctance to depart. He hadn't considered it previously, but perhaps the thought of being publicly mated to a Galra concerned him. The humans here did behave as if they had misgivings about their connection. Others would surely feel the same. 

"I'll need to ask you for your word as a Blade," Keith had said.

"Of course," said Ulaz, without inquiring first what Keith wanted of him. He trusted Keith to ask for only what was possible and necessary.

"When I'm not here, you'll have to look after him. Like you did before."

This was an easy promise to make, but also one Ulaz was willing to work hard for. "Yes. I will."

"I know you'll keep him safe."

Ulaz took this as approval of their bond. For Keith to trust him with Shiro's safety was no small matter. Keith's relationship with Shiro was as important as Ulaz's was, if not more so. "You honor me," said Ulaz. They hadn't spoken at length about what Ulaz had done for Shiro when he'd been a prisoner of the empire, and Ulaz couldn't know what Shiro had told him about it, but they understood each other's care for Shiro. Because of that, they understood each other.

"You honor me," Keith replied in turn. "I want him to be happy." His expression softened, lips moving into a faint smile. "And you."

Reflecting on that conversation with Keith now brought a measure of clarity to the present, but doubts remained. He doubted it was a good idea to let Shiro continue to stare out the window for too much longer. "We should train," Ulaz told him.

"I was hoping you'd say that."

The base's training room wasn't as impressive as the Castle of Lions' training deck, or as spacious as the chambers at the Blades' base, but that didn't matter. What mattered was Shiro's presence and his nearness as they sparred. Ulaz remembered, as he sometimes did, their match in the Castle, when Shiro had had no memories of him. Shiro's movements had been hostile and ruthless in intent. Ulaz had felt his anger and his desperation through his blows. Today, there was an ease in his motions that was infectious and made fighting with him a pleasure. This was combat, but there were instants in which it felt like they could be dancing, instead. In here, as they circled and zig-zagged quickly over the mats, there was no evidence of Shiro's earlier tension.

Unlike that time when they had fought while Shiro had believed Ulaz was his enemy, this fight ended with both of them on the floor. Ulaz was right above Shiro, balancing his weight on his hands and knees as he gazed down at him. "Are you making things easy for me?" Ulaz asked. He was joking, as they were well-matched, and one of them was as likely to win as the other.

"I would never do that," said Shiro. "But this isn't a bad position to be in."

While they were training in here, the room was closed to the base's personnel, so there was no danger they would be disturbed. That was why Ulaz felt free to lean in and lick at Shiro's mouth. Shiro's lips parted for him, and Ulaz slipped his tongue briefly between them, a gesture he knew Shiro enjoyed.

"This is a very low tactic," said Shiro.

"Yes, you are on the floor."

"I mean, it's unfair."

"I see. Should I stop? I don't wish to be unfair."

"No, I wouldn't say you should stop." Shiro's fingers moved through the crest on Ulaz's head. Ulaz regarded him contentedly, his eyelids half-lowering.

"Let's just stay like this," said Shiro.

"How long would you like to stay?"

"How about indefinitely?"

How long could they keep Ulaz here? And how long was Shiro going to stay? It already felt indefinite. For all Shiro's words about speaking to the authorities, Ulaz had witnessed no signs of coming change. There were always more researchers, more questions, more days like this, spent talking and sparring.

"What is it?" Shiro asked. He must have noticed a shift in Ulaz's expression. "What's wrong?"

"Is that why you don't want to leave? Because you want to stay like this?

Shiro blinked, lowering his hand. "What do you mean?"

"I don't mean to assume, but at this point, it seems likely that you don't wish to leave."

Shiro sighed. "And what if I deny it?" Yet he wasn't denying it.

"I would point out that Keith agrees with me."

"Keith." Shiro smiled wryly. "Of course he does. I should know better than to take on the Blade of Marmora. You know everything."

"We do."

"If you want to talk about this, will you let me up?" Shiro asked. "It's a little distracting to be on my back underneath you."

"A reasonable request." Ulaz retreated, moving back as Shiro sat up. Shiro was frowning. His body had remembered its tension. Ulaz could read it in the lines of his limbs, but he didn't regret broaching the subject. It had troubled him, and Shiro was troubled. He wouldn't allow it to pass ignored any longer.

"It's not that I don't want to leave the base. I do want to. I want us both to be able to leave, and—" Shiro broke off.

"Does it trouble you to be bonded to a Galra?"

"What? Oh, no. No, it's not that at all, Ulaz. Please don't think that." Shiro's hand settled on Ulaz's forearm. "I don't care what other people think. It's me. It's what I think."

"You?"

"I don't think right anymore. I'm not the same. Now that I remember..." Shiro didn't conclude his sentence, and he didn't need to. "I'm a different person, in many ways. What if I don't belong here anymore? To go home and realize I'm an outsider— What if I have no home? What will I do then?"

Ulaz saw his mistake at once. He had been thinking of himself as the only alien. 

"Maybe it doesn't make sense, but I don't want to feel like a stranger on my own world," said Shiro. "I don't know if I can deal with that."

"If you are, we can be strangers together. It isn't always a bad thing to be."

"I know—you don't have a homeworld. I shouldn't complain to you about this."

"But you should. I'm the one you should complain to first." His situation, as one of the Galra, was very different from Shiro's, and he didn't think they would benefit from that comparison. "Is that why you didn't tell me about this?"

"It's one reason." Shiro let out a long breath. His skin was a shade more pale than usual. Shiro's experiences had left wounds, and deep ones. The effects could surface without warning. His mood would suddenly darken. It was like the weather of the desert outside: a mass of dark clouds would unexpectedly sweep across a clear sky. There was no shame in it. These things could happen to a warrior, after a long battle.

Ulaz leaned in, drawing his tongue lightly across Shiro's head, to comfort him, licking at his hair. It wasn't a human gesture, but it was another that Shiro seemed to enjoy.

Now that storm of emotion swept in and opened up. Shiro's hand shook slightly. Noticing the movement, Ulaz laid his own hand over it. "I never saw myself ending up like this," Shiro confessed, a slight crack in his voice. He was staring down at the mat on the floor. "When I went out into space, I thought I'd come back the same person I used to be—or, even better, the new and improved version. I was going to pick up my life more or less where I left off. My career, my home, my friends. Not that I didn't think there would be any changes, but it would still be—my life. The one I recognized."

"It's still yours."

"It's mine, but who am I? Not that—I'd exchange this for another life. I couldn't, but—I don't know when this will start to feel like my world. My home. I keep waiting for it to happen, telling myself that when it does, _that's_ when I'll leave."

"If you feel you don't belong here, then we can go somewhere else," said Ulaz. "Or we can stay and wait to see if you adjust. I believed I'd live and die with the Blade. There was nothing else I could do. Our lives had been that way for thousands of years. Like you, I wouldn't have changed it, because it was what I had to do, but—"

"Then everything changed."

"Yes. The guards brought in an alien prisoner, from a species I had never seen before."

"Did they?" Shiro met his gaze. "You must have thought he was very odd looking."

"No, he didn't look too bad," said Ulaz. "I became used to him."

"I've noticed that you're a very tolerant Galra." Shiro's skin was less pale, and the fact that there was a note of irony in his voice indicated that he was already feeling better.

Ulaz was sorry he hadn't pressed sooner. He hadn't realized his partner had been in so much pain. "If you can't find your sense of home here, then maybe you should go and look for it," Ulaz suggested. He was someone who was used to waiting, but there was always a time when the wait was over. You then had to know when it was right to act.

"Should I? You really think that's the best option?"

"Yes, I do."

"Let's go," said Shiro suddenly. The clouds had cleared again, and he smiled.

"And where do you suggest we go?"

"Away from here. That's all." 

"The regulations," said Ulaz, but without much force in the words.

"They're making them up as they go. We can do the same, right?"

Ulaz had been known to make his own rules in the past. He had always remained loyal to the Blade, but on a mission, cut off from your comrades, making independent decisions was a frequent imperative. Ulaz was very willing to side with Shiro on this. "We can."

Shiro's eyes had lit up. When Ulaz saw that expression on his face, it made him ready—and even eager—to go anywhere Shiro asked. 

The base personnel were taken aback at their passage, but none of them could formulate an objection to Shiro as he marched through the halls and the checkpoints. Shiro outranked them. When he appeared at the motor pool, asking for a vehicle, his request caused a quick flurry of confused transmissions. Shiro hadn't actually tried to leave before, and they apparently hadn't formulated any specific plan for what to do in the event that he tried to leave the base with Ulaz. They had no choice, in the end, but to hand over the keys to one of the light utility vehicles. When Shiro got in and drove away, with Ulaz in the passenger seat, it was as if the other humans couldn't bring themselves to stop him. As if they didn't want to.

The vehicle was capable not only of driving over varied terrains, but also of hovering, meaning that when the terrain was impassible, the machine could rise above it. There were few modes of Earth conveyance that Shiro wasn't able and authorized to operate. He took the wheel easily, and the rocky desert surface was no obstacle for them. Once they were moving, the largest problem they faced was a simple one: Ulaz didn't fit in his seat, and he had to curl up in a manner that caused him slight discomfort. He didn't complain, but Shiro reached out to rest a hand reassuringly on his thigh, which was drawn up toward his chest.

The gesture didn't distract Shiro from the task at hand. The vehicle sped smoothly over the desert without slowing. "Where are we going?" Ulaz asked.

"I don't exactly know," said Shiro. They left the base behind. The mountains on the horizon grew larger with each minute that passed. "As long as we're going," Shiro added.

Ulaz liked to see him look so happy. There was a wildness to him, tied to a love for freedom, although it surfaced only when he was free of what he saw as his necessary responsibilities. Shiro didn't stop until the mountains were much closer and the base was far away. Just ahead ran a long, dark line of water. There was enough moisture here for trees to grow, although they were narrow and bent. "This looks like a good place," said Shiro. There was no sign of human civilization present. They might as well have been on an uninhabited planet. As Ulaz climbed out of the vehicle, he breathed in deep, taking in the fresh scents of air and water, which weren't entirely different from air and water on other planets, as well as the unfamiliar smells of Earth foliage: woody and dry and faintly sweet. Ulaz was glad of the chance to stretch his legs and draw himself up to his full height.

When he had first arrived on Earth, he had been transported directly to the installation where he'd been spending the past weeks—an international research facility. He hadn't spent any time outside of the authorities' oversight. Here, he was still in the vicinity of the base, with one of their vehicles and one of their officers, but he felt like he had come a long distance in a short time. He was closer to moving freely on the planet than he had ever been.

"Welcome to Earth," said Shiro, reaching out to take his hand.

"Thank you." Ulaz took his hand, applying a light pressure to his fingers.

"I always wanted to show it to you. There were times I didn't think we'd make it here."

Ulaz had felt the same. It had been one of the more unlikely outcomes. "But we did."

"Yes, somehow. I'm sorry, Ulaz. I fought to get us this far. I should have kept fighting."

"You did keep fighting. Some battles are more quiet, that's all."

Shiro watched him for a long moment, then tilted his head to one side and smiled. "Come on. Let me show you around."

"Around Earth?"

"That's right. I'm your official tour guide."

Shiro was a fine guide. Ulaz couldn't have asked for better, and not only because of his affection for him. Shiro knew the land, and he knew the names of the trees and flowers. He was like a warrior should be—knowledgeable about every aspect of the terrain. Knowledge was a warrior's first weapon, all the more powerful because its greatest and truest use came in peacetime. What was a warrior fighting for, if not peace? Shiro told him the name of the river, and the names of the cities to be found downstream. "When I take you there, I know a place where we can get some decent coffee. I'll buy you a cup."

"I still might not like it."

"Then we'll try something else."

Ulaz felt the breeze change. The air was colder now than it had been when they'd exited the vehicle. It moved through Shiro's hair, blowing the long lock back. Ulaz doubted his hair would return to its original color. Human hair, once it had lost its coloration, didn't seem to regain it naturally. Ulaz had seen older humans with white hair, and Shiro's hair was growing whiter rather than becoming black again. There were more pale strands on his head than there had been, even months ago. Ulaz had never told Shiro this, but he liked the white hair, and how the way he wore it made it almost look as if he had a Galra crest.

"I think we should head back now," said Shiro.

Ulaz didn't disagree. The sky had very quickly grown dark, and when Ulaz turned in the direction from which the wind was blowing, he saw a wall of thick gray clouds bearing down on them. He estimated that they wouldn't make it to the vehicle in time to escape the coming storm, but he hurried alongside Shiro, willing to make the effort for him. They slid down a steep bank, sending rocks rolling. The race was like being on a mission together, but without any of the pain and fear. The wind picked up and blew at their backs.

They didn't win. They weren't yet in view of the vehicle when the sky opened above them and the rain poured down, drenching both their bodies and the dry earth. Shiro had lost his race with the weather, but instead of expressing frustration or continuing to run, he stopped and raised his head, letting the rain wash over his skin. He showed every sign of enjoying it, as his hair and clothes grew sodden and the raindrops pelted them both. 

When he looked at Ulaz again, he was laughing. "Ulaz, you're soaked."

"You're soaked as well."

"I guess I am, but I don't think I've ever seen you like this before. Looks like I got to show you a little more Earth weather than I intended."

"I don't mind it. The rain here is only water."

"Let me guess, the rain on Daibazaal was sulfurous or as hard as diamonds or something like that."

"Something like that," Ulaz agreed. In the distance, there was a deep rumble, like the voice of a giant creature sounding. He looked up to see bright, blue-white ribbons of electricity flickering among the clouds, making the landscape momentarily unsteady as light pulsed out.

"Earth rain isn't completely safe," said Shiro, following Ulaz's gaze. "There are flash floods in this area, too. So I'll have to cut the tour short for now."

"You're a conscientious guide." The crackling electricity may have been dangerous, but it was beautiful, and Ulaz kept looking out for it as they made their way back to the vehicle. It wasn't far, but when they climbed in, they brought pools of water in with them, inspiring Shiro to laugh again. "I'm really glad this is an all-weather vehicle."

"I think I'm coming to like your Earth rain," said Ulaz. Curling up in the passenger seat again, he was nonetheless able to lean over toward Shiro and press his lips to Shiro's neck. Sliding out his tongue, he licked the moisture from Shiro's skin with a faint smile.

"Yes, that's... nice." Shiro leaned back in his seat, baring his neck, and Ulaz took the opportunity to lick it throughly, enjoying the taste of the water salted by Shiro's sweat. "I'm appreciating Earth rain a lot more myself, right now." 

Ulaz narrowed his eyes with pleasure as Shiro's soft fingers moved over his cheek and down his own neck. Sensing what Shiro wanted, he raised his head and offered his mouth to Shiro's. He was already well-tutored in the art of the Earth kiss, letting Shiro's tongue slip into his mouth.

It was Shiro who regained hold of himself first. He pulled away from the kiss, his breath quick and a little ragged. "Why don't we continue this back at the base? I don't want to worry them too much more."

Ulaz drew back as Shiro's hands went to the controls. "Takashi Shirogane to base," he said. The young woman who appeared in miniature on the viewscreen was confused, but demanded no explanations. "Yes, sir?"

"I'm calling in to let you know we're headed back."

"Of course, sir!"

As Shiro estimated their time of arrival, it occurred to Ulaz that the base personnel had been waiting for Shiro. Ulaz and Keith and all the humans had been waiting to let Shiro choose the time he came back. Because they loved him, they had given him time. That patience—Ulaz had always given it for the people and things he loved. Shiro turned to Ulaz, flashing a bright smile. "It looks like we aren't in too much trouble," he joked.

"No," said Ulaz. "Just enough."

"Just enough, right. Not too much, for once. That's a nice change."

"It's a very nice change," Ulaz agreed. He watched the landscape flash by as they drove back, flying as much as they were driving, the trees reaching out to him and the scrub hugging the earth as the water ran over it. Ulaz watched the rain strike the windows and electricity play among the clouds. Coming to this strange planet was the best change he had experienced so far. He would stay here, if Shiro wanted, until it no longer felt strange at all. As they drove, the wind blew the clouds past. Soon enough the sky was clear. By the time they reached the base, except for the wet ground and the pooled water, it was as if there had been no storm at all.

Ulaz had his own room. He spent much of his time with Shiro, but he was aware that Shiro required space and time of his own, so it wasn't unusual for him to spend hours alone. He spent these solitary hours studying Earth, reading books about its history and biology and watching the innumerable films humans had made. He was in the middle of watching one such film—documenting the lives and habits of avian lifeforms—when the door sounded, telling him in its calm voice who was requesting entry. "Takashi Shirogane."

"Let him in."

"I hope I'm not interrupting you," said Shiro once the door had opened for him, pausing to take in the sight of the small and shining blue hummingbird that took up the majority of the screen on which Ulaz's chosen documentary was playing. "This does look fairly important," he added.

Ulaz didn't disagree. "But it's not time sensitive," he said.

"I'm glad to hear it. Then, I was wondering if you could come with me for a little while. I need you for something."

"What's that?" Ulaz was already rising to his feet. As far as he was concerned, he had already agreed to accompany Shiro.

"If you don't mind—" Shiro stopped, then started again, as if not sure how to phrase his request. "I told you earlier, I'm going to be talking to my parents tonight."

"Yes?" As eventful as the afternoon had been, Ulaz remembered what Shiro had said.

"I'd like to introduce you to them. I mean, I've already told them about you, of course, but— You actually talking to them is something else."

Ulaz nodded. "I understand from my research that meeting a mate's parents is an important human ritual."

"Ulaz—" Ulaz was more than a little amused to see Shiro's skin reddening, all across his cheeks. He wasn't easy to fluster, so it was a relatively rare sight. "Please. If you're going to talk about it like that, I'm not going to be able to make it through this."

"My apologies. I'd be pleased to speak with your parents."

"Good." The red on Shiro's cheeks was fading, although it was still evident. "It might take them a little while to get used to this, but they're willing to make the effort."

"So am I," said Ulaz. He reached out to take Shiro's hand in his. "There's no effort I've liked better. I hope they'll find me a suitable partner for you."

"I doubt they ever expected that I'd end up with someone so tall and so—gray," said Shiro, "but things usually don't turn out as we expect."

"They don't," said Ulaz. He never could have imagined this kind of fate for himself years ago, when he had been working undercover, laboring alone among enemies as he'd attempted to glean whatever scraps of intelligence the empire had let fall. One day, he'd overheard two soldiers talking about an alien who'd won a stunning victory in the arena. _Undersized and hairless_ , they'd called him, but _with a Galra's fighting spirit_. Intrigued, Ulaz had immediately decided to learn more. He still remembered his first glimpse of Shiro, in the darkness of the cells. Shiro's face had been less lined that day, his skin less scarred, and his hair more dark. He had glanced at Ulaz with an expression full of suspicion and devoid of trust, so unlike the look Shiro was giving Ulaz now.

"Sometimes they turn out better," Ulaz said.


End file.
